Fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Noooo what have I done!

I've got to get home quick, call 999!

Im coming room.

Ahh don't just run you coward!!!

My bludy room is on fire

Oh my god this is not looking good

Shit you stupid mouse what are you doing use an ashtray!

Thats it put your cigar down and take a big swig.

Yes!

Here we go he's taking the Scotch, go on thats it.

Still no sign of the little bugger.

Poisoned Scotch

As you can see I have left a bottle of Scotch on my bed-side cabinet for our little mouse friend but no Its not a peace offering its a trap.

I have poisoned the Scotch with enough poison to kill a big mouse, I wanted to get enough to kill a horse but it was too expensive.

Lets hope he dies a painful death.

I new it.

It was that bludy mouse all a long. The cheeky little bastard, he doesn't even care that I can see him. Look at him smoking his cigar who does he think he is? And where the hell does a mouse get a cigar from anyway?

I can't believe I have been bullied by a mouse, this is worse than when the down syndrome kid used to steal my glasses at school.

Thats it mouse this means war!

RIP BULLS-EYE THE CAT

Its all my fault I'm sorry Bulls-eye I should have gotten out when they said!

How did they manage to do this with out being seen on my cameras? I just don't understand.

I can't believe they executed my cat and why is there a piece of cheese in his mouth?

Was bulls-eye suffocated by cheese and then beheaded? Or was he beheaded and the cheese was put there afterwards like some sort of clue?

But he can't have suffocated on the cheese because it looks like a chunk of Swiss cheese and he would have been able to breath through the holes. Unless he was made to eat so much cheese that he died from a cheese overdose.

Anyway that doesn't matter anymore, I need to find out what the heck is going on.

Ok I have installed hidden cameras around my room so the culprit has no where to hide, unless they hide out side my room but that doesn't matter.

Its time for some answers!

I came upstairs to go to bed tonight and look what was waiting for me!

A sign ordering me to get out or else and another bottle of Scotch but this time smashed in an act of unprovoked anger. Im surprised I didn't hear it I was only sat down stairs.

The most disturbing thing about it is the paw print on the bottom of the sign that worryingly looks like a bleeding cats paw. Not to mention the unnecessary skull and crossbones mark.

Thats it tomorrow Im rigging my room with cameras and Im going to catch this mother trucker once and for all.  

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone has killed Barry, how could they?!

Who is doing this to me?!

What a cruel way to murder a fish, the bastards. Im going to find the monsters who did this, they are going to pay!

I need to find Bulls-eye too.

I came home today and found a Mini mouse thong under the covers of my bed! I honestly don't have a clue how they got there I haven't had any action like that for ages. The most disturbing thing about it all is why the hell are disney making Mini mouse thongs? Thats just not right.

Look there has even been an extra notch added to my bed board! the cheeky bastards. 

Who the hell keeps doing these things in my room. 

Missing cat

I haven't seen Bulls-eye my cat for a few days now Im getting very worried. 

He doesn't usually leave my room. I can't think of anywhere that he might be, I've checked the entire flat and he is nowhere to be found. 

Please keep your eyes peeled for a cat with a dart-board tattooed on his back, anyways you guys know what he looks like.

Post me if you see anything.

I caught Bulls-eye plotting to eat Barry today, I'd better keep man eye on him from now on. Mind you I don't think he could break through the glass anyway.

The best thing about my bedroom is the view, its the reason why I chose to move into my flat.
The women across the road always has her boobs out too its amazing, I think she wants me.

Happy New Year!!!
As part of my new years resolution I went out and got myself some weights, they are allot heavier than they look.
I might just work out on only one arm so that one is massive and one is normal. If I was standing side on my opponent would think he could easily take me on, but then I would unleash the gigantic arm from the other side and he would shit himself. I think them crabs with one massive claw look far more scarier than the crabs with just two equally massive claws, they just look crazy.