Sebys Bedroom

Its alive

2009-06-11T10:53:00.000-07:00

I think the great barrier reef is probably crap compared to my bedroom.

I believe that nature and pollution can live as one

The can coral reef

2009-06-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

2009-06-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

I wanted to try and make the jelly fish feel more at home in my room so I made them this coral reef out of cans. I felt that this would help them to feel less like freaks as the reef also combines nature and rubbish in its creation.

Plus I couldn't think of any other reason to drink this much beer.

Life After Death

2009-05-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

I was just about to take dead EggHead to the bin when this happened.

2009-05-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

Out of respect for Egg Head today the Jellyfish all wore black ties.

His death has really hit them hard.

I think they all just feel guilty for not giving a shit when he was alive.

Egg Heads Final Attempt

2009-05-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

Poor Egg Head

the box in his head was just too heavy.

(if you do not remember egg heads story look at the earlier posts)

Melted face

2009-03-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

Oh crap this little guy got too close to the radiator yesterday and hes gone and burnt his face.

Think Im guna have to buy a radiator cover.

2009-03-24T03:43:00.000-07:00

2009-03-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't sleep a wink last night, turns out that my latest visitors glow in the dark!

I think I'm going to have to tie a bin liner around them at night.

2009-03-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

I've got loads of the Jellies now they just wont stop coming!

I cant even stand up without getting a tentacle to the face.

They are all getting on swimmingly too, no fights or anything yet, mind you I can't see the fights being too much of a problem they don't really have any sort of fighting assets apart from the ability to stare for ages.

Oh maybe they have been fighting then and I just haven't realized because all they do is stare each other out as a form of combat. Who knows? But most importantly who cares?

Disabled Jellyfish

2009-02-28T10:35:00.000-08:00

Poor Egg Head

The weight of the egg box inside his head stops him from floating around like the other jellyfish

I don't know what to do with him he just sits on the floor all day.

What goes in must come out.

2009-02-26T03:00:00.000-08:00

Oh bloody hell now they've gone and pooed all over my room!

Feeding time

2009-02-23T14:15:00.001-08:00

I thought that I'd better feed the guys as I don't think that they have eaten since being here.

I can't believe their favorite food is actually receipts how stereotypical.

Four more!

2009-02-15T13:22:00.001-08:00

Four more arrived today!

I don't know if I can cope with the responsibility.

I haven't had time to talk to these guys really as they came this morning when I was trying to deal with an intense hangover so I just opened the window and went back to sleep.

I know that the the one who constantly looks shocked is called Bez, the reason he looks like that is because he accidentally suffocated a toddler last month and he still hasn't got over it yet.

Egg Head

2009-02-10T05:24:00.000-08:00

This is Egg Head.

He's called this because as you can see he has a box of eggs in his head.

Apparently someone left them in his dad when they unpacked their shopping and the gene passed on to him.

Morris, Fraser & Cabbage

2009-02-07T08:49:00.000-08:00

The word is out.
I am officialy a Jellyfish orphanage.

Meet Morris, Fraser and Cabbage.
Cabbage used to be called Bob but changed his name when he became an Eco warrior, he feels very strongly about our plastic bag problem and he was the spokes person for the 'plastic ain't my bag' campaign he even has it tattooed on his face.

Morris is different from the other jellies as hes got three eyes but I don't feel comfortable asking him about it yet and Fraser is his little brother. Apparently his mum just doesn't understand the difference between plastic and jelly.

Spencer & Irene

2009-02-05T01:56:00.000-08:00

Once you let one in they all have to come don't they!

Apparently word has got out in the jellyfish world that I am taking in stray jellyfish now.

What have I gotten myself into?

Oh well I couldn't turn them away so here we have Spencer and Irene, Spencer is half M&S bag and has had quite a tuff time, when he was rejected by his family he went to join the circus where they rented him out to kids as a balloon, this caused him to developed a serious helium addiction.

When the circus went to Scarborough he met Irene who he found stuck inside a Seagull carcass, think Im going to have to give her a shower because she stinks of fish.

Exhibition 2 : The Plastic Bag Jellyfish

2009-02-02T15:11:00.000-08:00

I was in my room this morning when I looked out of my window to find this little chap staring at me.

He looked freezing cold outside so I let him in.

I once heard that apparently there are so many plastic bags floating around in our oceans that Jellyfish have started to mistake them for other Jellyfish and have started to have sex with them.

Well I did not believe the stories until now!

This little guy is called Martin and he is the offspring of this confusion.

His mother had sex with a stray plastic bag in mating season last year, luckily his father was an old school blue and white striped plastic bag which looks quite nice but apparently allot of the Plastic Bag Jellyfish Martin knows are marked withe the Tesco or Asda mark which is not cool.

Anyway Martin has come to me to seek refuge, he had to float away from his home as he was not accepted by the other straight forward Jellyfish and when he hung out with the plastic bags it was quite boring.

He says that there are thousand of his kind just wondering around looking for a place to fit in.

As I partly feel responsible for Martin's breed I have agreed to let him stay in my room for a while.

He shouldn't be any trouble as the plastic has taken the sting out of his tentacles.

2009-01-28T01:03:00.000-08:00

Fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-23T06:18:00.000-08:00

2009-01-23T06:13:00.000-08:00

Noooo what have I done!

I've got to get home quick, call 999!

Im coming room.

2009-01-23T06:11:00.000-08:00

Ahh don't just run you coward!!!

My bludy room is on fire

2009-01-23T06:10:00.000-08:00

Oh my god this is not looking good

2009-01-23T06:06:00.000-08:00

Shit you stupid mouse what are you doing use an ashtray!

2009-01-23T06:04:00.000-08:00

Thats it put your cigar down and take a big swig.

2009-01-23T06:01:00.000-08:00

Yes!

Here we go he's taking the Scotch, go on thats it.

2009-01-21T12:13:00.001-08:00

Still no sign of the little bugger.

Poisoned Scotch

2009-01-20T02:45:00.000-08:00

As you can see I have left a bottle of Scotch on my bed-side cabinet for our little mouse friend but no Its not a peace offering its a trap.

I have poisoned the Scotch with enough poison to kill a big mouse, I wanted to get enough to kill a horse but it was too expensive.

Lets hope he dies a painful death.

2009-01-18T08:53:00.000-08:00

I new it.

It was that bludy mouse all a long. The cheeky little bastard, he doesn't even care that I can see him. Look at him smoking his cigar who does he think he is? And where the hell does a mouse get a cigar from anyway?

I can't believe I have been bullied by a mouse, this is worse than when the down syndrome kid used to steal my glasses at school.

Thats it mouse this means war!

RIP BULLS-EYE THE CAT

2009-01-17T04:56:00.000-08:00

Its all my fault I'm sorry Bulls-eye I should have gotten out when they said!

How did they manage to do this with out being seen on my cameras? I just don't understand.

I can't believe they executed my cat and why is there a piece of cheese in his mouth?

Was bulls-eye suffocated by cheese and then beheaded? Or was he beheaded and the cheese was put there afterwards like some sort of clue?

But he can't have suffocated on the cheese because it looks like a chunk of Swiss cheese and he would have been able to breath through the holes. Unless he was made to eat so much cheese that he died from a cheese overdose.

Anyway that doesn't matter anymore, I need to find out what the heck is going on.

2009-01-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

Ok I have installed hidden cameras around my room so the culprit has no where to hide, unless they hide out side my room but that doesn't matter.

Its time for some answers!

2009-01-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

I came upstairs to go to bed tonight and look what was waiting for me!

A sign ordering me to get out or else and another bottle of Scotch but this time smashed in an act of unprovoked anger. Im surprised I didn't hear it I was only sat down stairs.

The most disturbing thing about it is the paw print on the bottom of the sign that worryingly looks like a bleeding cats paw. Not to mention the unnecessary skull and crossbones mark.

Thats it tomorrow Im rigging my room with cameras and Im going to catch this mother trucker once and for all.

2009-01-12T03:13:00.000-08:00

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone has killed Barry, how could they?!

Who is doing this to me?!

What a cruel way to murder a fish, the bastards. Im going to find the monsters who did this, they are going to pay!

I need to find Bulls-eye too.

2009-01-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

I came home today and found a Mini mouse thong under the covers of my bed! I honestly don't have a clue how they got there I haven't had any action like that for ages. The most disturbing thing about it all is why the hell are disney making Mini mouse thongs? Thats just not right.

Look there has even been an extra notch added to my bed board! the cheeky bastards.

Who the hell keeps doing these things in my room.

2009-01-07T14:09:00.000-08:00

Missing cat

2009-01-06T03:40:00.000-08:00

I haven't seen Bulls-eye my cat for a few days now Im getting very worried.

He doesn't usually leave my room. I can't think of anywhere that he might be, I've checked the entire flat and he is nowhere to be found.

Please keep your eyes peeled for a cat with a dart-board tattooed on his back, anyways you guys know what he looks like.

Post me if you see anything.

2009-01-03T10:58:00.000-08:00

I caught Bulls-eye plotting to eat Barry today, I'd better keep man eye on him from now on. Mind you I don't think he could break through the glass anyway.

2009-01-02T13:28:00.000-08:00

The best thing about my bedroom is the view, its the reason why I chose to move into my flat.
The women across the road always has her boobs out too its amazing, I think she wants me.

2009-01-01T14:27:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!
As part of my new years resolution I went out and got myself some weights, they are allot heavier than they look.
I might just work out on only one arm so that one is massive and one is normal. If I was standing side on my opponent would think he could easily take me on, but then I would unleash the gigantic arm from the other side and he would shit himself. I think them crabs with one massive claw look far more scarier than the crabs with just two equally massive claws, they just look crazy.

2008-12-30T09:34:00.000-08:00

This is weird I came back to my room the other day and there was a bottle of scotch and a half smoked cigar next to my bed.
Someone has been in my room drinking scotch and smoking cigars when I have been out, it has to be one of my flat mates but they all deny it, plus why would they want to lay on my bed whilst smoking a cigar and drinking scotch from the bottle. What would they gain from this.
I just don't get it!

2008-12-28T12:03:00.000-08:00

Bulls- eye the little bugger pooed on my bluming bed. Why did he have to do it where I sleep. Dont worry Im going to get him back tonight.

2008-12-27T03:02:00.000-08:00

This is my gig wall.
These are the tickets that survived, the James Brown gig I went to was the last one before he died.

2008-12-27T02:47:00.000-08:00

I killed a fly the other day, I hunted him down whilst his annoying buzzing noise was disturbing my sleep. He put up quite a fight but in the end a rolled up pair of Christmas socks killed the little fellow, he died to the electronic sound of Jingle bells coming from the socks.
Anyway I thought the fly deserved a plaque in honour of this great battle, he showed true courage that night.

2008-12-24T06:29:00.000-08:00

2008-12-22T09:29:00.000-08:00

The hairy Bikers are the best thing to happen to this world. I put their picture at the side of my bed so that I wake up to them everyday. Just look at their cheeky faces.

2008-12-20T04:15:00.000-08:00

Rite I've got a cat to sort out my mouse problem.

This is Bulls-eye I just got him from the cats protection foster home. I thought I'd get a Cat from there because I wanted to give those poor little guys a better life, plus its allot cheaper.

He's called Bulls-eye because his last owners used to use him as a moving dart- board, they actually tattooed a target on his back. Cruel but at least I got a free dart-board!

Only joking cat lovers.

2008-12-18T14:03:00.000-08:00

Well I thought Id better get into the christmas spirit so I bought a tree of christmas.

Well its not really a real tree its one of those fake plastic ones.

I couldn't be bothered with the needles

2008-12-16T16:54:00.000-08:00

Oh no I think I've got mice.

Id better get a cat.

Bazza has a massive poo

2008-12-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

Check out the massive floater I had to fish out of Barry's Tank the other day.

Maybe I should stop feeding him steak.

2008-12-14T12:38:00.000-08:00

2008-12-13T04:56:00.000-08:00

Here hang my greatest achievements in life. I put them above my desk to remind me of what I can accomplish if I really put my mind to it.

2008-12-11T14:21:00.001-08:00

I don't think Id better play that again the poor little bugger has just about stopped shaking.

Sorry Bazza

2008-12-11T13:16:00.000-08:00

I was playing some chemical brothers the other day and look what happened to Barry!

2008-12-11T04:28:00.000-08:00

I don't believe in downloading films I just have to buy the real thing, you no so you've got something real that you can actually touch.

I still haven't put all my dvds on the shelves yet though, I got distracted by Crufts 2004 it was such a good year for well behaved dogs.

Big Baz

2008-12-08T15:57:00.000-08:00

Meet my new fish Barry, he's ace I picked him because he was the fattiest.

I called him Barry out of respect for my last fish Gary who was named after my favorite footballer ever, the mighty Gary Kelly.

I feel that the name Barry is kind of a step on from Gary, if I have another fish after Barry I would call it Larry.Plus I don't want Barry to feel like he is just living in Gary's footsteps, errrm fin propulsion do I.

Anyways lets hope he lives longer than a week.

2008-12-04T15:41:00.000-08:00

Since putting this shelf up i have developed a beard, grown huge biceps and started to spit because i am now finally a real man.

This jar of Blackpool air has always fascinated me as how did the cheeky bastards get away with it?! I kind of bought it out of respect for their cheeky bastard ways, i remember just aplauding the women at the counter as i bought it.

I have a souvenir of the Egyptian Pyramids too because i went all the way to Egypt on holiday but didn't go and see the pyramids so instead i just bought this and pretended i went so i didn't get told off.

It was going to take ages to get there and it was BBQ night at my hotel and who wants to miss that?!

2008-12-04T12:28:00.000-08:00

My room is starting to feel quite homely now. I suppose it should do after all the money I've spent on it.

2008-12-03T16:05:00.000-08:00

2008-12-02T16:27:00.000-08:00

Then I just watched a program about bald idiots who wear glasses, which was my favorite program out of the whole evening.

Think Id better get a TV license, or maybe I'll just be bad-ass and not bother.

2008-12-02T16:04:00.000-08:00

Then I watched a Heston Blumenthal cooking program.

2008-12-02T15:58:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd have a night in with my new TV so I switched on MTV2 and watched a live Moby gig.

2008-12-02T15:48:00.000-08:00

Walked past Comet today and remembered how lonely my desk looked, so I got my self a brand new state of the art Tv and yes it is HD ready. It was bloody heavy carrying it back home though.

2008-11-27T15:42:00.000-08:00

Yessss i have always wanted a Meat loaf poster for my room and now i have found one!

Bludy brilliant.

I am going away until Tuesday so there will be no new posts until then. Not that anyone gives a shit

2008-11-26T12:54:00.000-08:00

Really pleased with this piece it really holds the room together, gives Donkey Kong somewhere nice to sit too.

Nearly got all the essentials for a real room now, in your face angry flat mate look who has all the possessions now!

2008-11-26T12:49:00.000-08:00

Ikea £50, think it needs something to go on top of it though other than that little stationary holder.

2008-11-25T12:32:00.000-08:00

2008-11-25T12:16:00.000-08:00

Thought i needed to get a headboard to jazz my bed up abit. Unfortunately i got it second hand so the notches scratched onto it are not mine, but if i do ever bring anyone back they'll think Im a rite sex god. That, or they'll think what type of sad bastard marks down the number of times he's had sex on his bed. I really didn't think this through.

2008-11-24T12:24:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of my old dog Klaus he passed away a few months ago, he died of a heart attack after getting too excited over chasing a squirrel, at least he died doing something he loved though. Peace out brother

2008-11-24T12:15:00.000-08:00

This alarm was given to me by my Grandma, it only works at 8.30am and 11.00pm this has been a bit of a problem when I have had jobs that start before this time, catching planes is always a bit difficult too.

The bible behind it is signed by the big man himself, he was in Waterstones the other day, nice guy.

2008-11-24T11:32:00.000-08:00

On top of one of my cabinets I've got an alarm clock, a bible and a picture of my dead dog.

2008-11-24T11:21:00.000-08:00

I went out today and bought two bedside cabinets they were an absolute bargain. I especially admired the quality of the handles.

Exhibition 1 : Credit Crunch Room

2008-11-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

I have just moved into a new flat, the only problem is that it is unfurnished.

My flat mates have all sorted their furniture out and Im still on a camp bed.

The funny thing is I've got one of the biggest rooms and have nothing to put in it, where as one of my flat mates has the smallest room and too much stuff which really pisses her off . She's always telling me to get some stuff.

So here is my solution.